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  • Writer's pictureCandy Marx

The Evolutionary Power of Love

How Love Will Heal the World

The end of the year approaches, and you write a list of goals you want to achieve for the following year: lose weight; exercise more; eat healthier; give up particular bad habits; learn a new language; find a new job. But have you ever written to be happy? To be love? Love is a necessity; as the Dalai Lama said, "Without love, humanity can not survive." Love is so straightforward, so why does it also seem so complicated? Or do we truly not understand love?

I'm a huge supporter of bridging the gap between science and spirituality. Humanity can learn so much more if we respect and try to understand both. From working in the Spiritual and Holistic Health space for many years, I uncovered the often overlooked component in healing and health: love! I identified in myself and my clients that the majority of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual illnesses are due to the absence of love. From an energetic level, the absence of love signifies the presence of unhappiness, pain, trauma, fear, anger, guilt, shame, or hate, for example. That is why working on yourself at a holistic level—mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually—is key. Every physical and emotional trauma and form of abuse—from the receiving end to the giving end—has an energetic element that can linger in the body until you consciously heal. Being on the receiving end is obviously traumatic; however, being on the giving end is also highly toxic to the body.

Everything is energy, and energy is frequency and vibration. We're all made up of atoms—the faster the atoms vibrate, the higher the frequency. Emotions and feelings such as love, joy, peace, happiness, and gratitude are at higher frequencies. Anger, fear, hate, guilt, shame, and suppressed traumas are at lower frequencies—meaning the atoms vibrate much slower. Whichever frequency you vibrate at is the frequency, or energy, that embodies you, and you emit that, too. If you're genuinely at peace, you emit peace and attract peace. If you're a manipulative compulsive liar or like being caught up in drama—which are extremely low vibrations—you will also attract others vibrating at that low frequency. And because we emit what we are—if you're nasty to someone, you also emit that frequency—negatively impacting the receiver and you. There is so much more to being kind.

You only become ill or sick when your frequency is low—from a physical standpoint, you will notice feeling off, exhausted, or run down. However, energetically, it's because your vibration is low. Life can throw so much crap, but what you do with that crap makes the difference.

Our writers and I ventured out into the world to speak to humans from all walks of life and cultures to hear their stories about how love, or the absence of love, changed them. But first, this is my story.

I grew up in an abusive home—physically, mentally, and emotionally—aggressive, passive-aggressive, and intimidating. I was very young when I learned how to read people's energy, understand their moods, and adapt to the situation. It became my safety mechanism. I saw how my father mistreated and abused my mother, especially my older brother—and our animals. I witnessed their lights dim.

It was a dire and covert operation when my mother left my father. Much of our local community helped us to leave the country—for Australia. The night before we flew out from Auckland airport, I remember how scared I was—my mother and siblings, too. When I think back to what happened, the fear my family and I felt still takes me back to that day.

My mother left my father on multiple occasions. We moved house several times, attended many different schools, and started our lives all over again. After almost fourteen years of marriage, my mother finally left for good.

Almost three years passed, and my father regained my mother's trust. They agreed that my two siblings and I would fly back to New Zealand and spend the Christmas school holidays with him. However, my father never held up his end of the bargain. He never sent us back to Australia—to our mother. He hid our passports, and our lives started all over again.

Back in New Zealand, my father separated my siblings and me—he sent me to live with my grandparents, and my sister with my father. My older brother eventually moved out on his own. While my mother tried every legal avenue to get us back, I was isolated, and so was my sister. I knew my grandmother was not loving—she was quite the opposite. It wasn't until I reached adulthood that I understood my grandmother—who I lived with throughout high school—was a severely mentally abusive narcissist.

I became extremely good at concealing my pain and anger—so good I even fooled myself. But, little did I know, burying my pain and anger—although unbeknownst to me at the time—would negatively impact my decisions and entire life for decades later.

From a holistic health viewpoint, the body is brilliant at dealing with physical toxins. When a toxin enters the body, it does its best to detox and eliminate it—via sweating, vomiting, or the respiratory or digestive systems. But when overburdened with toxins, or if the main channels of elimination aren't working efficiently, the body does the next best thing—it protects the organs by storing toxins in other parts of the body, particularly the fat cells. When the body stores too many toxins, sickness and disease occur.

When emotional, mental, psychological, or spiritual trauma occurs, it stores energetically in every part of the body—particularly in the chest, gut, jaw, organs, nervous system, immune system, shoulder, lower back, and hip regions. As well as in one or many of the main energy centers. Stored trauma becomes part of our identity because our decisions and reactions become a trauma response.

If fear, anger, and trauma can cause trauma responses and illnesses in the body, what can love do?

On the outside, I had everything together. Although I partied in my younger years, I had no addictions—perhaps escaping reality—but I had a healthy social life and excelled in my professions. I was independent, bright, and bubbly—despite my upbringing, I blossomed. I was what many people would consider happy. But it wasn't until I began to personally and spiritually grow and consciously heal that I recognized I had trauma responses. Because I grew up with a toxic father, I was drawn to toxic men— toxic men were all I knew. My longest relationships were with manipulative men that were, at varying degrees, psychologically abusive. When a genuinely 'good guy' came along—when there wasn't any abuse, drama, or manipulation—I had no idea what to do with them and let them go.

It took me fourteen years to recognize my now ex-husband was domineering and passive-aggressive. Nowhere near the scale of my father, but enough to trigger my childhood wounds—which triggered trauma responses. When my father and grandmother were domineering and passive-aggressive, I learned to do whatever I could to make it go away: I agreed to things I didn't want to; I knew not to cry because crying made things worse; I did whatever I could to calm the situation—I let them take my mana (inner/spiritual strength) and my voice.

In 2022, I experienced a severe trauma that resulted in a near-death experience (or NDE). While I won't detail the NDE, I spent the rest of the year healing and rebuilding myself. I went to Holistic Doctors and Practitioners because I knew I needed treatment at an energetic level. Asides from the physical trauma, I had severe PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and deficiencies of the liver, kidneys, lungs, spleen, and brain, an overloaded central nervous system and endocrine system, and extremely low Qi (chi, prana, lifeforce). The NDE petrified me so much that it heavily impacted my organs.

Energetically, we store fear, worry and emotional pain in our organs and nerves, and my fear of what happened completely overwhelmed my insides. I also felt disconnected—my intuition was non-existent. From relying on my intuition for years, it went dark. It was like my inner compass and GPS stopped working. If you usually drive to an unfamiliar location using a GPS, imagine the GPS being unavailable—you'd become lost. And that's precisely how I felt. I found it hard to laugh and couldn't find my joy. I tried my hardest to feel love. It should've been automatic, but it wasn't.

I already ate a clean, plant-based wholefoods diet (and haven't consumed alcohol for over five years). Still, I cleaned up my diet more, focusing primarily on high-lifeforce foods—organic raw fruit, vegetables, and herbs. I did regular cold water therapy, infrared saunas, earthing, ocean swims, and sun basking. I practiced yoga, pilates, meditation, tai chi, and breathwork while taking Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), and receiving help from other Practitioners. I did all the things I could do to heal. But what helped me heal the most was love.

A very close soul mate found me during this time—he found me when I needed someone the most. He spent most days by my side throughout my recovery. He made me feel loved and helped me see my beauty again—he kept at it until I believed him. He intuitively knew I was holding on to trauma and listened to everything—from childhood to adulthood. He knew I needed to release all of it to assist my recovery. He knew everything about me—he knew every little insecurity I had and slowly chiseled away at them until they no longer existed. He knew what truly made me happy and made sure I concentrated on what brought me happiness. He made me laugh, smile, cry tears of happiness, and helped me find my joy again—he helped me to remember just how powerful love is. After the NDE, I felt like everything was closing down and falling apart, but I truly began to heal with his love.

He helped nurse me back to health by loving me. Being on the receiving end of deep unconditional love is so powerful. I'd never received that level of love, nurturing, and care before. As a mother, I give that level of love to my children, and I know my children love me the same. But it makes me see that if everyone—if every human was loved unconditionally by just one person—what a magnificent difference that would make. All it takes is just one person. What if you become your own person, too? Could you love yourself deeply and unconditionally?

Self-love starts with healing, downtime, and boundaries—knowing when to say yes and when to say no—and not feeling guilty about it—and learning to listen to yourself and put yourself first. Is this why many find it easier to love others more than themselves? Because putting yourself first is considered selfish? If you answered yes, let me assure you, putting yourself first is far from selfish. As the saying goes, "You can't pour from an empty cup." There will always be times when other's needs come before yours—the art here is to find the balance.

As part of my healing, I let go of everything that did not bring me happiness. While I was recently separated from my ex-husband, I sold my business and left my husband for good. My ex-husband is a really good man but needs to do healing work—as my grandmother and father do—as we all do. When I ended my marriage, it wasn't the split I needed to heal from—it was the fourteen years of feeling unseen, unheard, and unloved. When my soul mate found me, I was a wilted flower, and he helped me blossom and bloom again. He gave me the ultimate form of love—he loved me so much that I relearned to love myself.

In 2013, I spiritually awoke. However, quite a few significant events occurred leading up to this main awakening. As a child, I saw spirits—some friendly and some not-so-friendly. I had many premonitions, visions, and encounters with spirits during high school—but I wasn't ready for it. Throughout my partying days, alcohol helped suppress my spiritual connection, which stopped those unwanted experiences.

Before I met my ex-husband, I was in a short-term relationship with a different soul mate. I say soul mate because he played a significant part in my spiritual journey—our relationship helped me connect the dots between love and spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health. He was my first romantic partner that made me feel loved. And because I felt loved, my mana and spiritual gifts strengthened immensely—my visions and premonitions returned, and alcohol no longer suppressed them.

My premonitions and visions stopped for much of my marriage—when I didn't feel loved.

When I fell pregnant with my daughter, something inside of me changed: my intuition heightened extensively, I dreamed of my daughter when I was only six weeks pregnant (and she looked the same in my dream as she does, physically), and I felt more connected. Not feeling love from my ex-husband, I focused on my unconditional and limitless love for my daughter. I was at my strongest when I concentrated on my love for her.

Can you now understand the power of love? It isn't just romantic love—all love fuels, feeds, and rewires your body to where it's meant to be—and ignites your intuition and spiritual abilities. When you embody love or unconditional love, it signifies less room for trauma and lower frequencies. And it is also the way we personally and spiritually evolve. Being in a love frequency shifts you into the heart space, meaning your heart center is activated, open, and strong. When your heart center is open, your intuition and Higher Self-connection strengthen, too.

Healing is vital for love, and love is essential for growth and health. Trauma—from an accident, event, childhood, birth, relationship, ancestral, or disaster—negatively impacts the entire body and creates energetic blockages. As well as every incident that negatively affects your emotional state. The more trauma you have, the less love you feel, the more blockages you have, and the more disconnected you are. An unloved disconnected body that's full of trauma finds difficulty in being love or feeling loved. With many, depending on the level of suppression and compartmentalizing, the traumas never truly surface—only trauma responses do—this is why conscious healing is the ultimate form of self-love.

The more I learned about energy, the more I understood behavioral patterns and ancestral trauma—my grandmother and my father, my parent’s marriage—it repeated with me at the helm. It threw a curve ball because the abuse I saw as a child was physical—I didn't understand abuse could also be non-physical. But I comprehended their pain, too. Genuinely happy people don't hurt or abuse others—hurt people hurt people. When I understood that, I realized why cycles of abuse extend through entire bloodlines. The cycle only breaks when someone from that family recognizes something needs to change and consciously decides to heal. If cycles of abuse can extend over generations, what about cycles of love?

I attracted and chose romantic partners with similar qualities as my father. The traumas I compartmentalized and suppressed as a child, and a teen, were part of my frequency. Therefore, I attracted and chose the same energy and experiences. And I would've kept attracting and choosing that energy until I learned and healed. From a Wisdom of Duality perspective, my ex-husband was a valuable lesson and teacher for me. He triggered my inner child wounds and traumas so I could understand them, face them, and heal from them. In essence, he helped me to evolve. There are lessons in every experience.

Life—or the Universe, if you will—has a way of highlighting and amplifying everything you need to work on, let go of, and heal. Facing your traumas can be horrific, but you must do the work to grow. When you find the connection back to your true self—to that love for yourself and your surroundings—you heal, grow, and evolve.

When I looked at the word evolve, it looked like a semordnilap of ev love. When researching what ev meant, I found a Latin origin (from aevum), meaning ‘age of’ or ‘generation.’ Whether it’s accurate or not, evolve being a coded semordnilap for Age of Love or Generation of Love fits how we evolve perfectly.

Deep down, all humans need to be seen, need to be heard, and need to be loved. What if we all consciously tried to truly see, hear and love others?

When we, as humans, genuinely understand how powerful love is: that it is love that heals us and fuels our personal and spiritual growth, that it is love that keeps us healthy and thriving, and how interconnected we are—we realize we can't maliciously hurt another without hurting ourselves. Human's natural state is love—trauma and conditioning rewire us, and love is the only remedy. One of the most powerful services we can do for the world is to heal, love ourselves, and love each other—to be joy, to be peace, and to be love.

To connect with Candy Marx, please head to our Connect page, or Instagram.

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